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Archive for the 'text' Category
Oh, “Laptop”. That’s Your Problem Right There!
Oct. 9, 2011
Dad’s Never Afraid to Make a Buck
Oct. 7, 2011
The 80s Were Good Times
Oct. 4, 2011
Dad: I did alot of crazy things when I was a kid.
Me: Like what?
Dad: Well once I did a whole bunch of cocaine and threw a TV through a ten story window. Good thing you only do pot.
Me: I… I got nothin'…
Peebs’s Mom Considers the Logistics
Oct. 4, 2011
(Me and my mom were looking at a picture of the woman with the longest fingernails in the world.)
Me: Wow! Those would be hard to paint…
Mom: How does she wipe her ass?
Thanks Dad, Now We All Lose
Oct. 3, 2011
Dad: Hey son.
Me: Yes?
Dad: Wanna know where babies come from
Me: No no plea-
Dad: The Game
The Enabler’s Son Avoids The Trap
Oct. 3, 2011
(Mom had left for a business trip and it was just dad and I by ourselves)
Dad: So, you wanna get some hookers and blow?
Me: Seriously, Dad?
Dad: Fine… how about some pot? Do you know anyone? Or shrooms, 'cause that'll be cool too. Or both… at the same time!
Me:…the hell?
Plus, it’s Very Affordable!
Oct. 2, 2011
(Furniture shopping with my parents.)
Mom: I like that this bed has a canopy… I'll have something to tie your dad up to.
Mom Needs that Rejuvenating Spirit
Oct. 1, 2011
Dad: Your mom has been feeling kinda old lately. Can you take her out, and show her a good time?
Me: You mean get her drunk?
Dad: Yeah.
Me: Done.
Watching Her Sister Take Her Lumps’
Sep. 30, 2011
Sister (singing like the Black Eyed Peas): Whatcha gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside your trunk?Dad (obviously having no idea that it's a song) : I'll tell you what you're going to do with all of it, clean it out! (followed by a long, angry lecture about the various junk my sister had left in the trunk of the car and needed to take out)
Sister (singing like the Black Eyed Peas): Whatcha gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside your trunk?Dad (obviously having no idea that it’s a song) : I’ll tell you what you’re going to do with all of it, clean it out! (followed by a l…
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